Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention puh-leeeeeeeez! Okay I listen to the Sweeney Todd soundtrack too much.

Anyway, three parodies! The first two are of One Republic's 'Apologize', and Grace and I wrote them together.

Fornication

I’m holding on your rope

Got me ten feet off the ground

I try to get you horny, but you don’t even turn around

You tell me that you want me

Then you go and menopause, but wait

You tell me that you’re sorry,

Didn’t think I’d want more kids

You say that

It’s too late for fornication, it’s too late

You said it’s too late for fornication, it’s too late

Even though my hair’s grey there’s still some sperm in me

And we all know that men need sex to keep em’ all happy

So I don’t understand why you refuse to mate with me

And you say

“It would be really painful, now that I’m over 50,

So I’m afraid,”

It’s too late for fornication, it’s too late

You said it’s too late for fornication, it’s too late

It’s too late for fornication, it’s too late

You said it’s too late for fornication, it’s too late

It’s too late for fornication, it’s too late

You said it’s too late for fornication, it’s too late

Contraception

They talked to us in school and they told us all sorts of things

They told us about condoms and having chastity rings

They told us that they’re sorry, but we’ll all catch STIs

If we

Partake in underage sex, without using spermicide

Then we’ll say

That it’s too late for contraception

It’s too late

I said it’s too late for contraception

It’s too late

Of course we didn’t listen, we’ve heard it all before

For hormonal teenagers safe sex was such a chore

Till one day you woke up, find you have a baby bump

Oh shit

Tried for an abortion, doctor freaking cheated us

Goddamn

It’s too late for contraception

It’s too late

I said it’s too late for contraception

It’s too late

And it’s too late for contraception

It’s too late

I said it’s too late for contraception

It’s too late

It’s too late for contraception

It’s too late

I said it’s too late for contraception

It’s too late

And the last one is a parody of Rihanna's 'Unfaithful'. I wrote it on request for a friend, and he helped write the second verse, so due credit to Benny of CHS =D

Unfaithful (or I Couldn't Think Of A New Title)

Story of my life

Sitting in my room

Doing trigonometry

Sorrow in my soul

Cause I just can’t do

Cosine A and tangent B

Math is more than trig

And trig is more than math

But it doesn’t feel that way

And I’m a getting sick

Of Victor Frankenstein

And his stupid monstrosity

And we all know Pythagoras’ theorem

But who really cares?

When I know that my G.P.A is negative three

I can see it dying

I don’t wanna do this anymore

I don’t wanna be the reason why

Every time I open my pencil box

I see that all my ink is running dry

I don’t wanna do redox anymore

I don’t want more hydrogen oxides

I don’t wanna read…my history notes.

I feel it in the ground

The answer can’t be found

There’s got to be some other way

This encroaching sense

Of despair makes me tense

I guess I’m gonna stay up late

This paper’s really long.

Midnight is almost here

A math can go to hell

Because we both know

That I am gonna fail

And we know it very well

And we all know Pythagoras’ theorem

But who really cares?

When I know that my G.P.A is negative three

I can see it dying

I don’t wanna do this anymore

I don’t wanna be the reason why

Every time I open my pencil box

I see that all my ink is running dry

I don’t wanna do redox anymore

I don’t want more hydrogen oxides

I don’t wanna read…my history notes.

I feel disgust

At all these malay worksheets that are piling on my desk

Get it over with

I don’t wanna do this anymore

Anymore

I don’t wanna do this anymore

I don’t wanna be the reason why

Every time I open my pencil box

I see that all my ink is running dry

I don’t wanna do redox anymore

I don’t want more hydrogen oxides

I don’t wanna read…my history notes.

Happy mugging, darlings <3

Nana (315)

very discerning

A quick one.

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She looks sideways at you. “Well, is she pretty?”
“Some. Mm, she’s beautiful sometimes. When she ties her hair a certain way. When she has a genuine smile.”
“You really like her, don’t you!”
“But she’s such a bitch!”
“But you like her anyway.”
Silence.
She grins. “You’re blushing. I’ll get you an ice cube.”

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Based on a real conversation. I couldn't resist. [:

blogger is so slow! ):

Livejournal > Blogger :D

Ever-dependable Lisa very nicely asked me to post this beacuse it's about her.

HAHA enjoy.

National Pastime
She leans drowsily into me and I am acutely aware of the solidness and warmth of her body and the smell of her shampoo and the slight jerk as her head nods.
Her sleepiness is contagious. But we both jolt awake instantly when they start blasting that awful National Day rap into the assembly hall.

you didn't get to heaven but you made it close

Good evening.

I usually have problems/insecurities with sharing my writing, but I guess that’s what this blog is for, isn’t it? Here goes. The first one is a spur-of-the-moment thing I wrote five minutes ago; the second was done last week.

(they are not funny, I cannot write humorous things.)

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Coin
After a while you realise you’ve been flipping the coin unfairly; that's why it's always landing heads up. When you try again your hand shakes and tails ends up being a nasty bitch. So maybe it’s better to pay with dollar bills which only have one face…but then again, you heard love is blind.

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We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things.
A chirpy bit of guitar and I wind a lock of your hair around my finger. It's an earnest voice that catches, a little, on the word "hesitate" in the chorus, a half-heartbeat filled with delighted piano and deep-throated purring bass. "I'm Yours," and I smile and pull you close, your breath tickling my ear.

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(I love Jason Mraz! He was awesome at Singfest - a really spontaneous and creative performer who had everyone dancing and singing along. "Every little thing is gonna be all right.")

Radiohead – Creep
I don’t care if it hurts,
I want to have control.
I want a perfect body,
I want a perfect soul.

much love, Grace of 315